letsplaysurgeon | Case 002 [Action/Written]

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Case 002 [Action/Written]

[There is a vase of snow white orchids sitting on the table. Muraki sits back with his hands folded and considers it for a long time in silence, until seconds taper into minutes, and then an indeterminable amount of time. It wasn't a Valentine's gift from someone, because he personally picked them up from the flower store to bring some grace to his apartment. Perhaps he got them because the person they would've been for wasn't in this limbo, and he was a man of habit. He needs a physical manifestation of his thoughts.

Extracting a flower from the cluster, he brings it to his nose and inhales the soft fragrance. A thoughtful expression crosses his features, and then he frowns.

Such sentimentality always leaves him feeling sticky.]

I thought some of you might be interested in the health benefits of chocolate. It contains a naturally-occurring compound known as flavonol, which acts as an antioxidant. Antioxidants, by the way, assist in preventing diseases. If it hasn't been overly processed, dark chocolate in particular contains a large amount of these antioxidants, and a small bar a day can be good for your heart. It contains serotonin and stimulates the production of endorphins, which give a feeling of pleasure. Some studies have even indicated there is a link between the consumption of chocolate and the lessening of pain.

[A slow smirk forms on his lips as he rereads his post, finding his own rambling amusing as he finishes his thought.] ...To make a long story short, a little indulgence won't kill you. Just be sure to limit your intake to a reasonable amount today.

[OOC: ~~Trafalgar Law and his fantastic pimp hat get first comment, and then it's open season~~. Tag away!]

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It's good to know that you won't be entirely punished for a craving, isn't it? [Though again he must stress the key word: moderation.]

[OOC: "Where did you come by those learnings, Tsuzuki?" "Dr. Muraki. :O" "...HE'S LYING. HE'S TRYING TO FATTEN YOU UP SO THERE'S MORE CUSHION WHEN HE--"]

Yes. I'm glad that something good came out of this day, too. I think I'll go and see how much chocolate it takes to make me feel better. [Psh, what is this moderation you speak of?]

Have you gotten a lot of cards today?

[ooc: hahahahah!]

Edited 2011-02-16 17:20 (UTC)

[No he didn't. But he was working on getting something. A certain young doctor who captured his fancy...

But he still notices that subtle indication of poor spirits, and he's not going to let it slide. "Feel better," Tsuzuki?] ...Is something the matter?

Edited 2011-02-19 09:13 (UTC)

[Normally he wouldn't pour his heart out to strangers, but everyone he knows have gone nuts. Tsuzuki is starting to feel like there's something wrong with him.]

~~No.~~ ~~I don't know.~~

Can I ask you a question?

[He was almost thrown back by this question until he remembers that Tsuzuki didn't know who he was.]

Certainly.

If someone you care very much about suddenly starts to care only about someone else, what are you supposed to do? ~~I feel so...so...~~

[An interesting tugging sensation enters his chest, eyes dragging over your pained words. He never hated this position so much, where he couldn't drive the knife deeper into your heart and consume your despair, the way he was meant to. He can't. For this to work, he had to pretend to be normal. Ignorant. Blindly sympathetic to your troubles.

It was sick. You deserve more than that--more than the boy, even (because he just knows you're talking about him). Whatever that miserable little brat was doing to you was nothing compared to your destiny with him.]

...I'm afraid I'm not qualified to answer that question. The heart only wants what the heart wants. You can cut it out, replace it even, but you cannot shift its course. Referring to their feelings, and quite unfortunately, your own.

Is this person inappropriate for them? [He was honestly shocked the boy could love someone after what he did to him.]

Edited 2011-02-26 10:15 (UTC)

[If Tsuzuki knew he had willing told Muraki this, he would be horrified.]

~~Maybe.~~ Maybe it's good for him to be with someone his own age. I'm too old for him.

I just -- [The break he takes from writing is spend wiping his eyes with his sleeve. It's worse because he knows the stranger is right. It's hopeless if Hisoka's rejected him already, so he should move on. But he can't help feeling completely worthless because of it.] This is all my fault.

[That was a clue. No, Muraki doesn't give a damn about the boy; he doesn't even give a damn what you feel towards him. But he can't help wonder about this other kid out there who was mending his broken spirit.]

I don't follow. Are you saying it's your fault that you're too old for him? Or that he developed feelings for another? Are you God?

[A jagged shard of humor cuts into his disgust. The question was as ironic as it was hypothetical, considering he doesn't believe in the existence of God. But he never doubted you were out there, somewhere. Not even once.

Who needs faith when you have an obsession?]

[Tsuzuki pulls himself together to the best of his ability.]

No. But maybe if I had just paid more attention, I would have realized that this person didn't like me that way.

[It hurts to write, because it reminds him of one of his old partners, as well. History repeats itself.]

[The consistent self-blame wasn't surprising to Muraki--you always did invest too much value in others. But the idea of attacking you anonymously over the journal system like a cyber bully turns his stomach. It just wasn't personal enough, and there was no pleasure to be gained. So he fights his instincts.]

That wouldn't have spared your pain. But what's done is done. What do you plan to do now?

(P.S. That icon. Seriously, that icon? Breaks my heart. T__T It's a 100x100 pixel square of depressing).

Edited 2011-03-02 00:42 (UTC)

[Tsuzuki runs his fingers through his hair, somewhat uncomfortable. He wants someone to tell him it'll be all right, but if he's honest with himself he doesn't think he deserves it.]

Nothing. Maybe go and have a snack at the bakery. I don't want to stay in the house, in case they come back.

[[Awww. Yes, I agree. For me, it's the way he hugs his torso while he hunches over. It just makes it look like he feels vulnerable - as if he needs hug, but isn't expecting to get one so he gives himself one.]]

I understand.

...It's none of my business, but I hope that you don't intend to do anything desperate. [He takes a deliberate pause, wanting you to interpret it the way he really means it before he diffuses the situation.] Some people lose their heads when such a thing happens, and it's not worth it to behave irrationally. Remind yourself if you need to.

(Likewise. It looks so desperate in its search for comfort. Like I told Charlie: that man seriously needs to be spooned. : |)

Edited 2011-03-08 15:32 (UTC)

['Desperate' and 'lose their head' creates just the right mental images for Tsuzuki. As if he needed to remember the lab and the desire to die. He shudders, wings bristling, before he replies.]

You're right. I bet a lot of people do.

[Struck by a bizarre creative streak, Tsuzuki absentmindedly draws a hangman next to his writing. It's a way to deal with his wayward thoughts.]

Honestly, I can understand people that give into desperation. It's very tempting.

[ooc: he definitely does. and well, the only one I know that can spoon him is Muraki.]

[If Muraki had a nickel for every time he used the desperation of others to get what he wanted. It was both amusing and revolting to him how easily humans threw away their so-called ethics and bent to his whims when they needed something. But he refuses to think about his own desperation in the past. And his patients. His poor, dead patients.]

Every living thing possesses the compulsion to return to the inorganic--a pretty way of saying that we're all racing to our graves.

But would it be worth it to become a cliché and harm yourself over a lost love? [An irritated frown tarnishes his features.] Don't be selfish, Tsuzuki.

[Not when he has to see you.]

Edited 2011-03-21 06:38 (UTC)

[When Muraki puts it like that, a layer of futility covers Tsuzuki's grief. He felt damned if he did, and damned if he didn't.]

~~I don't want to--~~[A few words were blurred] I don't want to be that selfish.

Have you ever been in love?

I have. [And usually he feels a slice of humor when he says so. Love was something he indulged in more than he felt deep inside, so he wasn't controlled or compromised by it. Sometimes he entertained the notion that he was incapable of the real thing, but didn't waste too much time on that.

Of course, Muraki said he loved you. And he was still planning to do something with that: he needed a change of topic to remember where he was.] I believe I mentioned him once.

Edited 2011-04-08 20:30 (UTC)

I think you did, too. Sorry.

[It's easy for him to forget things when he's feeling down. He's had a long time to practice just that.]

Let's talk about something else.

If you wish.

What would you like to talk about?

[Changing the subject is harder than he thought, unfortunately. It takes a while before Tsuzuki responds.]

My cat ruins a lot of my furniture. Do you know of any tricks to keep Foot out of my bed?

[It takes Muraki a while to answer, because what the hell is he supposed to say to that?

He's almost certain that you're the only one on earth who could segue from broken hearts to a belligerent cat.] I don't. I'm afraid I don't have any experience with pets.

...Have you tried shutting your bedroom door at night?

Edited 2011-04-14 08:15 (UTC)

I tried it once, but the door doesn't have a lock. So I figured, why keep it closed?

I'm sure you'll find that simply closing the door will get rid of the cat. [But it was good to know your door doesn't have a lock...]

[Tsuzuki doesn't realize that such an offhand comment will get him in trouble.]

I don't know. Foot's a special cat. She'd probably be able to get in somehow. At least she's not trying to eat my feathers anymore.

Speaking of that, have you gotten used to having wings yet?

Special in the sense that the cat can open doors by itself? [Muraki finds that hard to believe. But he moves on from the topic.]

For the most part. I find myself forgetting that they're there...at least until I change or go to bed.

[Written]

purpledemoneyes.livejournal.com - 2011-04-19 01:05 (UTC) - Expand

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Case 002 [Action/Written]

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